Getting Married Later in Life? 3 Questions to Discuss First

The average age of marriage is 32—of course, it’s not unusual to see people getting married for the first time in their 20s.¹ Though every family is different, spouses tend to bring fewer financial assets and dependents (children or older adults) to the marriage the first time around. They may have debts, such as student loans or credit card debt, but less in the way of assets, property, and savings. 

But as we age, we tend to accumulate more—more savings, more investments, more assets, and, sometimes, more complications.  

In a second or third marriage, for example, you may be navigating spousal or child support, debt acquired during divorce, consolidating multiple family homes into one, and more.  

Unlike a first marriage where your financial journey is still in its beginning stages, you may be well into your savings journey. Rather than focus on paying down debt or building your portfolio, you may want to work with your spouse to ensure you’re aligned on your vision for the future as well as your financial philosophies. 

Here are a few questions you and your spouse (or future spouse) may want to consider as you navigate this next phase of life together. 

Question #1: Should You Combine Your Finances? 

The question of combining your finances isn’t necessarily unique to later-in-life marriages. It’s something that new spouses at any age should be considering. But there are some factors at play for second and third marriages that may not have been in previous marriages. 

You may have amassed a sizable nest egg by now, or you may be approaching your peak earning years at work. If you’ve been single for some time now, you may have gotten used to managing your finances independently and don’t have any interest in changing your ways. Or, if your previous separation or divorce was contentious, you could still have some lingering trust issues moving into this new chapter of life. 

While there’s no one set way to do it, you and your spouse should work together to figure out what each partner is most comfortable doing. Perhaps you’d like to keep certain accounts separate (like your retirement accounts and brokerage accounts) but open a joint checking and savings account together to cover daily expenses. 

Question #2: What Should We Know About Each Other’s Financial Lives? 

Don’t assume you know everything about your future spouse’s financial life. Unless you’ve actually sat down and gone through everything in detail, it’s likely there are policies, accounts, debts, or other details you may not be aware of.  

Here are a few things you may want to touch on during these discussions: 

Estate plans: Do they have an estate plan? What about a will, trusts, or healthcare directive? Meet with your advisor and an estate attorney to update existing documents to reflect your new marriage status. 

Insurance policies: If your partner has home, auto, liability insurance or other policies, review your coverages together. You may be able to combine or eliminate policies that overlap. 

Beneficiary designations: Discuss what accounts or policies they have that may include beneficiary designations—life insurance policies, 401(k)s or IRAs, checking accounts, brokerage accounts, annuities, etc. Talk about whether it makes sense to change the beneficiary designation to you or keep it as-is (if it currently lists their adult child, for example). 

Debt: Does your soon-to-be spouse currently have any debts? If so, it’s important for you to be aware of them, since they may impact your ability to reach your future goals as a couple.  

Credit score: A credit score isn’t very romantic… but it’s an important piece of your and your partner’s financial picture. If they have a poor credit score, it could impact your future ability to take on joint debt (like a mortgage or a new car).  

Financial obligations: Did your spouse promise to pay for a child or grandchild’s future wedding? Maybe they’re determined to cover the cost of college? Find out what sort of promises or future financial obligations your partner has made, as again, this will impact your ability to achieve other goals as a couple. 

Question #3: How Will Our Retirement Plans Be Impacted? 

When you remarry later in life, you likely come to the marriage with some retirement planning already in place. You may have an idea of when you’d like to retire, how much you’d like to have saved up, where to retire to, and some other general goals. Your partner likely has done the same—and it’s possible your goals, timelines, and visions for retirement don’t quite match up yet. 

You’ll want to sit down and talk about your feelings regarding retirement, as well as your current savings plan and long-term goals. If one partner earns significantly more than the other, for example, their savings goal may look much different. 

If either of you were married before, it’s also important to consider how a new marriage will impact certain retirement income, like Social Security ex-spousal benefits or pension benefits for former spouses. A financial advisor, along with your attorney, can review these provisions and discuss your options moving forward for replacing any potentially lost income. 

Need Help Starting Your New Journey Off on the Right Foot? 

You’re about to enter your next phase of life, which is exciting and exhilarating at any age. Now’s the opportune time to sit down with your partner and have some important discussions regarding your financial future. 

If you need help bringing cohesion to your financial lives, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team. We can help you review your current circumstances and discuss strategies for aligning your combined finances with your goals for the future. 

Sources: 

¹Here’s the Average Age of Marriage in the US, According to Data